Only 80 known people have highly superior autobiographical memory (HSAM). What's it like to be one of them?
Only 80 known cases of highly superior autobiographical memory (HSAM) exist. What's it like to remember almost everything that’s ever happened to you? Rebecca Sharrock shares her experience—and how her dreams revealed an incredible feature of HSAM.
A few curiosities you’ll uncover in this episode:
Did You Know?
To help her quiet the memories in her mind, Rebecca goes to Harry Potter for help. At night, she quietly recites passages to herself, distracting her brain long enough to fall asleep.
Credits
Curious State is a Quick and Dirty Tips podcast hosted and produced by Doug Fraser.
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The Quick and Dirty Tips network is a division of Macmillan Publishers in partnership with Mignon Fogarty, Inc.
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Doug
How old is your first memory? One study suggests the furthest back most people can remember is about age two and a half. But that's most people.
Becky
Hi, my name's Rebecca Sharrock. My friends and family call me Becky. I've got a rather unusual and many say interesting life.
Doug
Becky's first memory is from when she was just 12 days old. Her parents set her down in the driver's seat of a car for a cute photo. And from that day forward, nearly every single moment of her life, she can't forget.
Becky
I have a very rare memory condition called HSAM, which is an acronym for highly superior autobiographical memory. From the time I was born to now, I'd remember about 85 to 90% of all the things which have happened to me.
Doug
I'm Doug Fraser, and this is Curious State. Becky's HSAM condition is incredibly rare, only about 80 known cases exist in the world. As she mentioned, the acronym stands for highly superior autobiographical memory. Autobiographical memories are, as you guessed it, autobiographical. It's the stuff that happened to you. Having HSAM sounds almost like a superpower. And it can be like when Becky's mom can't remember if a warranty has expired, or if she needs to recall the exact date of a family event from a decade ago. The downside is that her memories aren't always at her command. Are you able to conjure up those memories yourself?
Becky
Naturally, random ones will just come into my mind. But I can't choose which one when it's random. Reliving negative experiences isn't odd at all. And I'm in weekly therapy because of that, because very often I'll be having a day which I'm supposed to be enjoying. And then unexpectedly and uninvitedly a recollection of a painful experience comes back and it just ruins my day. I call them intrusive memories because they're much like an uninvited dinner guest. I don't, you know, I don't want them in my mind. I'm learning to control whenever I get those unexpected recollections, the ways in which I can consciously relive happy memories, I often use scents. For example, I want to relive my 2016 trip to Harry Potter World. For me to experience it to the point where all the emotions come back. I can then think, “Okay, what sorts of scents did I smell in Honeydukes, like go to my local shop and I can get some essential oils, some peppermint essential oil, and maybe a mixture of others so it can have the smell of the candy, and the cakes. So I'll put that scent on a handkerchief. So then I can just have it in my bag and then subtly just maybe put the handkerchief to my nose and then just smell and then all of the emotions come back as well as just the remembering it in a purely mental sense without the emotions attached.
Doug
How much of your day would you say is involved in having these memories?
Becky
Flashbacks just come in voluntarily all the time. And they’re a mixture of painful and positive
Doug
With help from a therapist Becky's getting better at filtering the memories. But at night, her mind still has trouble slowing things down.
Becky
I find it hard to fall asleep at night because I just get kept awake by just random flashes of just recollections just flooding through my mind.
Doug
For Becky to get some shut-eye. It helps to have a bit of magic.
Becky
I find if I can just think okay, Chapter Six of the Goblet of Fire and just recite the book just under my breath out loud. I find I'm asleep you know, within five minutes at the most.
Doug
Becky's memory extends beyond waking hours and into the night. She remembers every dream she's had all the way back to her very first.
Becky
I was really scared when I, you know, when I had my first dream, because I didn't understand. I thought I really was being taken away from home. But then when I was three years old, I finally had enough language ability to just ask Mum, why do you keep taking us to all of these strange places every night? And Mum just said, we didn't go out last night? And I said, yes, we did. And she said, where did we go? And I said, you took us to a place where we were all fairies and we were flying. And there was pixie dust everywhere. And she said, that must have been a dream. And then I asked what's a dream? They’re called dreams. But then I still didn't quite understand. And I asked mum, well, if you don't take me to those places every night who does take me? And she says your mind does and then for, for a couple of years afterwards, I thought that mind was a person. So, whenever I was, whenever I was in a drain, I'd ask everyone are you “mind,” because my mum told me that your mind is the only one who can wake you up. So if I didn't want to have that dream, I just asked everyone are you mind, can you wake me up? Dreaming is such an underappreciated part of our life because I feel dreaming is very important for our mindset and our psychology because it teaches us a lot about what's going on inside of us.
Doug
Becky's right. And it turns out how she dreams actually provides a major clue to at least one reason for her extraordinary memory. Becky can't choose what her dreams will be about. However, she has a different kind of fascinating ability. She can exit a dream at will.
Becky
But it's good because if I'm having a dream where someone's chasing me, I can control the dream by just I'd squint my eyes and I can just wake myself up. Or I can just make an escape. But I rarely have nightmares so that, that's good because I can just fix them like that.
Doug
As you may have pieced together, Becky's mind has a special connection that most humans don't.
Becky
When I was having one of my tests at the University of California, with the Magon Start Plan, they found that my subconscious and conscious parts of my mind are more strongly connected than usual. And they're thinking that could be one reason why I can access my distant past. Yes, so, so quickly because most of our distant memories are stored in our subconscious. So when I have dreams, the vast majority of them I can control. A doctor. when he-this was before it was known that I have HSAM, the doctor I was seeing when I was a teenager for my autism and for my OCD. It was telling mom that it was unusual, but I could, you know, control my dreams. But then mum said I don't think that's unusual because I–She meant I as in herself–she says whenever I've been chased by someone I can just cut a door in a wall and just escape. And then the doctor looked at her and said, “I think this is genetic, because that's not not normal, either.”
Doug
Wow. Yeah, that's amazing.
Becky
For many years, I didn't believe that I personally had anything interesting about me. But now I've learned that I did.
Doug
Becky keeps a calendar in her room, and she says she always will. Without it she fears she could misremember days, her memories run the risk of mixing together, creating colors that never existed, or worse. Losing memories entirely. It's common for people like Becky to test their recall of past events, remembering becomes part of their identity without her memory Becky wouldn't feel like yourself. What does it mean for you to have such easy access to all these good memories?
Becky
I feel I'm very lucky that I still have access to reliving all of those positive emotions because not many people my age now can still re-experience that childlike excitement of birthdays or Christmases. My birthday is a public holiday to me. And to me the December the 11 this is my favorite day and date in the entire calendar. It's just a day where I can just enjoy getting attention from my family and because I have such a big family, I often end up with lots of gifts, so
Doug
You can't beat that! Yeah. Becky's mind presents incredible connections between the conscious and subconscious parts of the brain. Instead of two bodies of water mainly divided. Hers is an open ocean. When you live a life so rare, so unlike others around you, it's difficult to feel understood. You can feel like an outcast to friends and just some outlier to scientists. With each new HSAM study that gap in knowledge inches closer. They're helping the world better understand Becky, and helping Becky better understand herself.
Becky has an upcoming book that isn't available for pre order just yet. So be on the lookout for that. It's called My Life is a Puzzle. If you have any questions, comments or ideas for future episodes, email me at curious@quickanddirtytips.com. If you prefer talking over typing, leave me a voicemail at 757-541-8471. For more information about the show and where you can find us across the internet, check out our show notes or visit quickanddirtytips.com. Special thanks to the quick and dirty tips team: Adam Cecil, our audience development and podcast manager, Morgan Christiansen, podcast and advertising operations specialist, Holly Hutchings, our digital operations specialist, Davina Tomlin, marketing and publicity assistant, and our trusty intern Brendon Picha. Curious State is hosted and produced by me, Doug Fraser for the Quick and Dirty Tips Network, which is a division of Macmillan Publishers in partnership with Mignon Fogarty Inc. Until next time, stay curious.